The Rancher's Twins Page 13

  “So, she just voluntarily gave them up?”

  Sofie’s expression was pained. “Yes. Zach says she never wanted them in the first place. She and Jon barely knew each other when they started dating. Jon was in Bozeman for a few months teaching a class on organic beef ranching. They met. Ava got pregnant. Jon married her and brought her here. He was still building up the JB Bar then. That’s why he’d taken the teaching job, to make some extra money. Ava hated ranch life almost from day one, missed her job, her friends, the city... Anyway, she left when the girls were only a few weeks old.”

  Lydia felt her blood go cold. She said a silent thank-you that the girls hadn’t been old enough to feel the full force of that abandonment. Because Lydia knew it well. Her parents had divorced when she was twelve, about the worst age imaginable. At least Jon wanted them. Neither of her parents had wanted her.

  “She never sees them?”

  “Nope. She relinquished all custody, gave up her parental rights.”

  Lydia heard a noise. Gen poked her head inside the door. It was so darn cute the way she waved when she noticed Lydia watching her. A rush of affection flowed through her. She couldn’t imagine loving her own child more. And one thing was for sure—if she was ever lucky enough to have her own children, she would never leave. No matter the circumstances.

  “We’re all done with our puzzles. You want to come see?”

  “You know I do.”

  * * *

  “WHAT IS THE matter with you?” Zach asked from his spot in the passenger seat of Jon’s pickup as they bumped along the edge of a field. They were going out to dismantle the dam the beavers were rebuilding.

  “Nothing.”

  “Nanny trouble?”

  “No,” Jon scoffed, scrubbing a tired hand across his unshaven jaw.

  “Really? ’Cause you seemed a little grumpy with her.”

  Jon shook his head. “She’s just the nanny. Why would she care if I’m grumpy?”

  “Just the nanny, huh? The woman has managed to corral your twins and she’s only been here two weeks.”

  “Twelve days,” Jon muttered, and then realized he’d given ammunition to Zach’s argument. He couldn’t help but feel a surge of affection at the way she’d defended the girls to his best friend. “And you’re not supposed to talk about them like that anymore.”

  “Yeah, I caught that.” Zach laughed. “If you tell her I said it I will call you a liar. Sofie said Genevieve is learning her letters and writing her name?”

  “Her entire name—first, middle, last,” Jon said proudly.

  “Yeah, she’s just a nanny, all right. You know she has a nickname in town already, right?”

  Jon shook his head.

  “The whole town was stunned after their trip to Falcon Creek the other day. Scooter and Cody Goode both told me she’s being referred to as Nanny Fantastic.”

  Despite his personal misgivings, Jon felt a stirring of pride. “She’s an excellent nanny, I’m not denying that. She’s some kind of a...twin whisperer. That’s not the problem.”

  “Exactly what is the problem?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “How so?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Me, either, if it makes you all prickly like this. Is it because you like her?”

  “How is this not talking about it? And I like her fine.”

  “I’m your friend, who else are you going to talk to? And you don’t like a woman like that fine. She’s so gorgeous it makes my eyes burn to look at her. She talks like an angel but acts like a mama bear where your girls are concerned. The house is tidy and smells good. And I don’t even want to mention her cooking, you lucky dog. I hate you a little because of it. Good thing for you Sofie is my soul mate.”

  Jon scoffed. “You’re using terms like soul mate now? Really? You’re going soft, are you aware of that?”

  Zach gave him a silly grin. “The only thing I’m aware of is how much I worship Sofie. And how much you’re acting like I did before I figured out I was in love with her.”

  “Please, stop talking. You know very well I could never be interested in another woman like Ava.”

  “Like Ava? What are you talking about? Lydia isn’t anything like Ava. Other than the fact that they both happened to have been born in urban environments.”

  Jon awarded him the “exactly” expression.

  “One last comment and then I’ll shut up for real—you didn’t think Sofie and I would work out, either. Based solely on your experience with Ava, which was hellish for sure. But Jon—”

  Jon interrupted, “Not just Ava. There are plenty of other examples.”

  Zach shook his head, giving up the argument. “Still no word from Big E?”

  “Not a one. Nothing from Zoe, either. And you know how that phone is attached to the tips of her fingers.”

  “This is strange.”

  “Irritating is what it is.” Jon’s concern for Big E had slowly evaporated, leaving a thick residue of frustration. If there was anything seriously wrong, they would have heard about it from Zoe or the sheriff by now. Which meant this was likely about something personal and Jon didn’t have time to care what that was. He just needed Big E to get back to the Blackwell Ranch. Because his conversation with Zach reminded him of a fact he didn’t want to think about—tourist season began in roughly a month. He was already running back and forth spending time he didn’t have paying bills, accepting deliveries, meeting with the vet while Katie tended to the cattle, or vice versa. Then there was managing the construction of Zoe’s ridiculous petting zoo.

  It annoyed him having to confer with Katie about decisions that should be hers alone. Just the thought of having to help with the guest ranch in addition to the rest sent his blood pressure to heights that could not be healthy. That’s all he needed right now, more city folk to contend with.

  “It’ll be nice having Lydia over for dinner on Sunday. Mom is dying to meet her. You know Brenna’s friend, Nell Smith? She works at Dr. Beazley’s office and she told Mom and Brenna that the girls acted like perfect little sweethearts in the office. Mom and Brenna and Tess are beside themselves to meet Nanny Fantastic. The only reason they haven’t shown up at your place already is because it’s calving season.”

  Jon couldn’t help it, but he loved hearing this about the girls even as the information coiled the anxiety even tighter inside of him. It wasn’t going to be easy to let Lydia go. But he was done discussing her with Zach. How could he talk about it when he didn’t even know what was going on himself?

  “I’m sorry he has to spare you today, Zach. I hope he knows that.”

  “He does. Besides, Matt got home yesterday so he’s on duty now, too.”

  “Matt is home?” Jon stopped the pickup and shut it off.

  “Yeah. Mom is so excited that he’ll be here for Easter.”

  Easter? Jon wouldn’t have guessed his mood could get any blacker. He’d known the holiday was coming up but with everything going on he’d forgotten it was this Sunday. Which meant the girls needed baskets and candy and dye to color eggs and about a hundred other items. Maybe Lydia could help. He could watch the girls for a few hours while she ran into Falcon Creek and picked up what they needed. Thankfully she’d be here until after Easter, at least. Guilt and anxiety churned like a nasty whirlpool inside of him.

  Zach climbed out of the pickup.

  Trout let out an impatient whine, eager to join Zach.

  Jon stared out the windshield.

  Zach stuck his head back inside. “Hey, Jon,” he teased, “how ’bout you stop thinking about your just-a-nanny so we can get to work?”

  * * *

  HAPPY CHATTER GREETED them as he and Trout came through the door. Trout let out an impatient whine, anxious to join the fun. Jon toweled him off and let him go. Lowering hi
mself onto the bench, he took a moment to gather his thoughts. Abby’s high-pitched giggle almost dredged up a smile. He knew what he’d find when he went inside. It didn’t matter if they were reading stories, writing, drawing, cooking or making paper airplanes—the girls would be having fun...and learning.

  They still had their rough moments; Gen didn’t want to go to bed, Abby didn’t want to brush her teeth, neither of them wanted to clean their room. Fits were thrown, tears were shed, giggling got out of hand, but Lydia managed all their moods like a seasoned expert.

  Jon hated the way he felt. Tense and guilty and needy. He wanted to join them and yet being around Lydia made him uneasy and unhappy. Zach was right—he liked her. The girls loved her. The bottom line was that he wanted her to be different. He didn’t want her teaching the girls how to shop and have fashion shows. The twins would not be materialistic and pretentious like their mother. He wished... With a frustrated exhale, he shed his jacket.

  “That sounds like the sigh of a troubled man.”

  Jon looked up to find Lydia watching him from the doorway. She sure didn’t look like a city girl anymore. He admitted to himself that aside from that first day, she never had. No makeup, and like she did with the girls, her long hair was always up and out of the way in some style that made him want to unwind it and see how the parts fit together.

  He was rapidly reaching the conclusion that this was his curse in life—being attracted to exactly the wrong woman. Shifting on the bench, he busied himself with removing his boots.

  “It’s nice how you always take your boots off. Sofie says not all cowboys are so gracious.”

  She walked closer and sat down beside him. Jon inhaled a breath. Big mistake. The scent of her filled his lungs and addled his brain. He couldn’t quite identify it, but it made him think of a spring morning when the lilacs first started blooming.

  “This is my home and it will be for as long as I live. I’d like it to last, so I take care of it.”

  “That’s nice.” She nodded and gripped the bench beneath her. Jon could feel her tension now. He waited because he knew the unpleasant conversation that had been simmering between them was about to boil over.

  She inhaled a breath. “Jon, if I did something to upset you I wish you’d tell me. Gen and Abby are doing so well. They’ve learned so much and I—”

  “I know,” he interrupted. “I know, and I appreciate what you’ve done. I should have said so before now. It’s just that...” He paused and then decided not to hold back. She deserved for him to be honest. “I have issues, Lydia. They might seem silly to someone like you, but like I told you when I agreed to temporarily keep you on, I need someone who will be an example for the girls in a lot of ways.”

  “In what ways? I know I don’t... I didn’t know about ranching, but I’m learning. I promise. I’m reading and watching videos.”

  “And going out to the barn?”

  “Well, yeah.” She gave him a little grin. “I like your ranch, Jon Blackwell. I can’t wait to see more.”

  “That’s convenient.”

  She frowned. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means you never went past the chicken coop until I pointed it out. Seems to me you’re pretending to like it so you don’t get fired.”

  “Are you serious?”

  He shrugged a shoulder.

  Her head tipped back to look up at the ceiling. She spent a few seconds muttering under her breath. When she turned her eyes on him they were flashing with emotion. It reminded him of the day he’d almost sent her away, the day he’d agreed to this frustrating mistake of a two-week trial.

  “I didn’t have any boots.”

  “What?”

  “I didn’t have any boots,” she repeated flatly. “Appropriate boots, I mean. That’s why I only went as far as the chicken coop and even that wasn’t easy in my flip-flops. That’s why I had bandages on my feet. There was an episode in the chicken pen and I slipped... Anyway, when you asked me to go out and see the cows the other day I realized I couldn’t stand it anymore. I was dying to get out there and look around. When we went to town I bought some boots. I’d already ordered some but they were taking forever to get here. All my packages were taking forever. Funnily enough, when we got home the packages were here so now I’m flush with boots.” She added a bitter laugh. “I’ll be sending a few things back.”

  “Why didn’t you just tell me that? That you didn’t have boots? When I asked about your feet? Or when I asked you to go out and see the cows?”

  Her head dipped down. “Because I only had those stupid boots that I was wearing the day I got here. You were right about those. I certainly didn’t want to put them on, and I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t have anything else. It felt like flashing my ranching incompetence in your face.”

  “Speaking of that, why would you come here, to a ranch, without boots? For that matter, why did you come here with only one tiny suitcase?”

  A few long seconds passed while Lydia fidgeted beside him. “Um, it’s a very long story. Suffice it to say that I needed a new start...” Her shoulders bunched as she turned to look at him again. “I figured I’d just buy whatever I needed when I got here.”

  Jon’s thoughts were shuffling through his mind like a deck of cards in a dealer’s hands. The pink velvet and satin popped into his mind. “All those packages were boots?” he asked doubtfully.

  “No, of course not. I ordered Easter dresses for the girls. That’s what the fashion show was about. They were too big, but there’s not enough time to send them back and get new ones. Which is why Sofie brought me Willa’s sewing machine. So I could alter them.”

  Jon swallowed but his throat was so thick with the ball of regret and shame lodged in it, it was difficult. “You ordered Easter dresses for the girls?” His thoughts hadn’t even reached as far as dresses.

  “Yeah.”

  “And you know how to sew?”

  “I do.” She shrugged a shoulder. “I also ordered Easter baskets and toys and candy for them. I didn’t know what you already had but I figured I could send stuff back. And I needed school supplies. And hair conditioner, but I was able to find that in town so now we have plenty. I hope the Easter stuff wasn’t overstepping. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about all of this, but I wasn’t sure what my role was in this situation. You’re busy and then... Honestly, lately, you’ve been kind of...moody. I know you’re worried about your grandfather and the family ranch and...everything.”

  The skin on his back itched like he’d gotten into poison ivy. But he deserved the humiliation. He also owed her an apology.

  Reaching out, he tried to take her hand. She wouldn’t let him, so he attempted to pry her fingers from the bench seat. After a struggle that made him smile, she produced her hand. Her skin felt just as creamy and smooth as he’d imagined. Heat shot through his bloodstream and he wanted to lift her hand to his mouth and kiss the palm. Touching her, he realized, was a mistake, just as it had been the other night when she’d touched him. But he wouldn’t let go now and risk making her feel worse.

  “Lydia, I owe you an apology. I am sorry. I was thinking things, assuming things, about you that were unfair.”

  Those bluebird eyes studied him, wide and uncertain. “Why?”

  “I... It’s a lot to tell. In a nutshell, I haven’t had good luck with women and relationships.” He felt his eyes drift to her lips. Especially beautiful city girls who make me forget my manners and tempt me to kiss the sadness from their eyes. Pulling his gaze back to hers, he said, “Not that ours is that kind of relationship. But I entered into this agreement not trusting you, not believing that you could handle it. That wasn’t fair to you.”

  Her voice was soft as a summer breeze. “Is it because of Ava?”

  Jon froze. Gently, he released her hand and spread his fingers over his knees. Sofie must have said so
mething. Or Zach. But what had they told her? What should he tell her? Some of it she should know if she was going to be caring for the girls but...

  Lydia went on, “Sofie explained a little bit to me. Not that much, but enough for me to know it didn’t end well.”

  A loud squeal erupted from the other room and saved him from having to answer. Like Jon, Lydia glanced toward the doorway, assessing the nature of the noise. Trout let out a happy bark. Giggling followed.

  Curling her fingers around his forearm, she gave it a squeeze. “Thank you for the apology. I’m glad to hear it’s not anything I did. On purpose, anyway.”

  Then she stood and flashed him a smile so sweet it left him weak in the knees. He’d never met a woman who was so forgiving. Or so appealing. He had to acknowledge that fact, too, because he was running out of reasons not to like her. His next challenge was going to be keeping these feelings in line for a few more days. Which only strengthened his opinion that he needed to let her go. He couldn’t be harboring romantic feelings for the nanny. But how was he going to do that when all he wanted to do was beg her to stay?

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  EASTER MORNING, LYDIA walked out the back door holding a large, steaming pan and promptly stopped in her tracks. The sunrise was painting the horizon with pastel streaks of orange, yellow, purple and pink on a background of blue that seemed too bright for this time of morning. Silvery mountains jutted out of the earth. She could see cows and calves milling around in the field, their fur shimmering in the morning light. Two deer eyed her warily from the edge of the yard. She didn’t think she’d ever get tired of their morning visits.

  Happiness unfurled inside of her. She’d never been so moved by the sheer beauty around her. This place.

  A rooster crowed, startling her out of the moment and prompting her to resume her mission. The day before, she’d borrowed a large pan from Dusty in the bunkhouse. This morning, she’d risen extra early. The lights were on inside, so she knocked on the door.

  Tom answered, coffee mug in hand. Surprise blossomed across his handsome features. “Good morning, Ms. Lydia.”