In the Doctor's Arms Read online

  Sonya couldn’t have known that Iris didn’t want a family. All she’d known was that Iris and Flynn were a happy couple and why wouldn’t Flynn want to be a part of his child’s life? She and Flynn had only encouraged this with their fake engagement. Iris’s ramblings about her large and loving family, and Sonya’s meeting them, had probably added to it. Why wouldn’t she want her daughter to be a part of that?

  Why wouldn’t Flynn want this for himself? Iris couldn’t allow herself to wish away this chance at fatherhood for him, especially when he would never have it with her. And she certainly couldn’t let herself wish that Lily would never know the love and comfort and kindness that having a man like Flynn as a dad would bring. Lily was innocent and perfect, and she needed a parent.

  All Iris could do was cling to the thought that Flynn loved her. And at least she’d had him for a little while.

  * * *

  “HOW’S THE BABY? How’s our granddaughter?” Cynthia Traver looked up from her where she sat, crying, next to her husband, Richard. They were side by side on a navy blue sofa somewhere on the eastern coast of Norway.

  Flynn cleared his throat and focused on keeping his gaze on the camera. Informing relatives that a loved one had passed was one of the most difficult aspects of being a physician. Telling your ex-wife’s parents via Skype while they were vacationing in Europe was indescribably horrific.

  Sonya’s relationship with Richard and Cynthia hadn’t been great when Flynn knew her. Flynn hadn’t spent a lot of time with them, but he liked them both. He believed the feeling was mutual.

  Richard was a widely respected immunologist and Cynthia a psychiatrist with a thriving private practice. She’d gotten in touch with Flynn when he and Sonya had filed for divorce, expressing her and Richard’s disappointment at the breakup. When Sonya waylaid his residency, Richard called to tell Flynn the decision wasn’t personal, on his part, anyway.

  “She’s doing remarkably well,” Flynn said. “Especially considering she was three weeks early.” He recited her vital signs and Dr. Grant’s assessment, knowing they would want every detail.

  “That’s wonderful news, at least. Is she with Trent?” Cynthia asked.

  “No.” Flynn pressed his palms together and inhaled a fortifying breath. Obviously, Sonya had led her parents to believe Trent was the father. “Cynthia, Richard, there’s no easy way to say this so I’m just going to tell you that Sonya and Trent broke up more than a year ago. Trent says the baby isn’t his.”

  They both stared blankly as the meaning behind his words sank in. “Well, then...who is?”

  “We’re not sure yet.”

  “What do you mean?” Cynthia’s face twisted with confusion. Flynn felt for her. “There’s more than one candidate—”

  “Flynn,” Richard interrupted, “what in the world is going on?”

  Flynn explained as best he could, leaving out the part about his sample likely being among the ones taken and his name being on the birth certificate. Cricket was flying the DNA samples to Anchorage the next morning. Trent’s lab was putting a rush on the test, so Flynn would know for sure in a couple of days. No sense in muddying the water until he had the facts.

  Cynthia cried some more and then shook her head. “You know, I blame myself. I tried so hard to keep my work separate from my parenting. Too hard, I see that now. I knew she needed help and I...” She broke down again.

  Richard curled an arm around her shoulders. “Cynthia, dear, we’ve discussed this. It’s not your fault. Look at all our friends and their kids, all the methods we’ve seen employed—too much affection, not enough attention, too much or not enough discipline... Parenting is like a roll of the dice with the best of intentions. Our daughter was a troubled soul, but we loved her and raised her the best we knew how.”

  Then he looked up, right into the camera’s lens, and his electric blue gaze reminded Flynn of Sonya’s—so much so, it left him a little disoriented. Would he see his own eyes looking back at him via Lily someday? Or his dimples? What about—

  “Flynn, if you could take care of things until we get there, we’d appreciate it.”

  “Of course, sir. I’m already on it.”

  Cynthia dabbed at her cheeks, and asked, “Who is caring for the baby?”

  “Me, my girlfriend and her family. Your granddaughter’s receiving the best possible care, I can promise you that.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  “SHE’S SUCH A good little baby, aren’t you, Lily of the valley? Oh, you are the sweetest thing,” Margaret cooed, rocking Lily in her recliner.

  Iris sat beside Hazel, watching from the sofa. The sight of their mom cuddling Lily made Iris feel as warm and cozy as the baby looked all bundled in her flannel blanket. Lily let out a squeak.

  Iris’s grin collided with Hazel’s. Hazel said, “She seriously makes the cutest noises in the world.”

  Operation Baby Emergency was in its third day and turning out better than Iris had even hoped. Emily and Janie had both brought over spare baby items—onesies, pajamas, bibs, blankets, bottles and assorted gadgets and gizmos. Janie had also supplied a crib. Emily loaned them a car seat. Babyhood fresh in both their lives, they were full of helpful advice. Between Iris, Margaret, Hazel and Hannah, baby Lily always seemed to be in someone’s arms.

  Flynn was there between shifts and Iris marveled at his lack of fear and wholehearted willingness to get down into the trenches. Feedings, diapers, crying, baths—nothing fazed him. And then there was Doc, who came over daily to dote on her.

  “Mom,” Iris said, “how did you do it? How did you and Dad handle everything when the three of us were babies? With me being sick and needing so much care.”

  “We had a lot of help—your aunt Claire was a godsend.” Bering and Janie’s mom had lost her husband when the kids were babies and the two families had always spent a ton of time together. “Tag and Shay were thirteen and twelve when you triplets were born. They pitched in, so did your cousin Janie. Your Grandma Taggart came and stayed while you were in the hospital. They let Hazel and Seth come home after a few weeks, but you were there for seven weeks. Your dad and I took turns so that one of us was always with you and the other home with your siblings.”

  “That must have been so hard.” Iris smiled as tears burned behind her eyes. She didn’t truly realize how emotional this baby thing made a person. Especially when the baby in question likely belonged to your fiancé.

  “It was a tough time, but you don’t think of it like that when you’re going through it. You discover that you just have the strength, it’s a built-in part of parenthood. All I could focus on was how much I loved you and wanted you to live. I begged you to live. I prayed for you to live. I willed you to live.”

  Iris thought she understood. She desperately wanted Lily to be healthy, to feel safe and loved. That was her mission until Lily’s grandparents arrived. Sonya’s parents were on their way and then Lily would have the love of her mother’s family, too. Flynn said they were good people. That was enough for Iris.

  Affection and protectiveness mingled with the looming disappointment about her and Flynn’s uncertain future. She didn’t feel selfish about that because her overriding concern was for Lily.

  What was important was that she stay in the moment. Where she worried about everything.

  Even though Flynn reassured her that thirty-seven weeks was only borderline premature, Iris couldn’t shake her fears about Lily’s health. Was her breathing too shallow, was her pulse too weak? Too fast? Should she feel so warm? Was she too cold? What was that spot on her cheek? Were her cries normal? Did she eat enough? Anxiety constantly floated on the surface of her consciousness, snatching her peace of mind and sending her imagination reeling.

  She kept reminding herself that Flynn was a doctor. Between him and Doc they’d pick up on anything amiss. The bottom line was that even this tiny taste of parenting
was exhausting. However, there was an end in sight.

  Because the fact remained that as much as Iris adored Lily, caring for her only solidified her intrinsic belief—she wasn’t cut out for full-time motherhood.

  * * *

  “HEY, JONAH, WHAT’S UP?” Flynn took a seat across from Iris’s brother-in-law at a corner booth in the Cozy Caribou. Jonah had called and requested the meeting, but had revealed nothing other than it was in his professional capacity as an attorney and it was regarding Sonya.

  “You want coffee?” Jonah asked.

  “That’d be great.”

  “Good, because I ordered you some.”

  The waitress brought two cups over. She filled them and said she’d be back to take their orders.

  “This is important and urgent, so I’m just going to get to the point.”

  “That works for me,” Flynn said before lifting the cup and taking a sip.

  Keeping doctor’s hours was good baby training. Lily had been up for the first three out of the six hours he’d had off the night before. After finally rocking her to sleep, he’d caught a few hours of rest in Seth’s old room. He smiled, affection bouncing around inside of him, as he thought about how Iris insisted the crib be placed in her and Hazel’s room. For someone who didn’t want any kids of her own, Iris was a champion foster mom. Of course, she had a team of experts on hand, as well. If he didn’t already adore her family, he did now.

  Gratitude made his chest a little achy. Flynn didn’t know what he’d have done if this duty had fallen to him and Doc alone. Thinking about Lily churned up so many emotions. He was so anxious to know if she was his. What would that mean for his future? What would it mean for him and Iris? They hadn’t talked about it. It had to be on her mind as much as it was on his. He loved her even more for keeping her focus on the baby as they existed in this unsettled state.

  “Your ex-wife came to see me a few days before she died.”

  “About what?” Flynn had already checked online to make sure they were truly divorced. He’d heard stories where the papers never got filed.

  “She asked me to draw up a will.”

  Cup halfway to his mouth, Flynn froze. Not unusual, he reminded himself, for new or expecting parents to draw up a will. Especially a single mom with a medical condition. He set down the cup.

  Jonah went on, “It was simple, and she asked for it to be expedited. So I did it. Unfortunately, she didn’t have time to sign it, but her wishes were clear. You’re her sole heir. She left you everything and gave you custody of Lily.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes. She also asked that I add ‘and your future wife.’ I assume she meant Iris, even though you guys announced your engagement after she came to see me.”

  Flynn nodded.

  “That part has no legal meaning because you’re not married. I explained that to Sonya, but she insisted I put it in there.”

  Flynn took a moment to think, a difficult task with his brain spinning a million miles an hour. Sonya had been quizzing him about their relationship not because she had designs on him for herself. It was for Lily. Iris was right. Sonya had been afraid she was going to die, or at least the thought had occurred to her.

  “Jonah, thank you for telling me. I’m—I’m sure you can imagine how difficult this situation is. I don’t know...?”

  Jonah held out a reassuring hand. “Flynn, I want you to know that even though Sonya has passed away I’m still bound by attorney-client privilege here. Although, the law states unequivocally that if I believe that the deceased would want the information disclosed then I can act on that. Without a doubt, that is the case here. As her intended heir and personal representative, you can submit the unsigned will to the court. I’m not going to tell anyone about this until you decide how you want to proceed. But I do have to ask if the baby is yours. It makes a difference in what I disclose to the Travers.”

  “I understand.” Flynn heaved out a breath. He’d been trying not to think of Lily as his daughter until he knew for sure. Jonah’s information only seemed to strengthen the notion. Sonya’s parents were still alive. Why would she grant him custody if he wasn’t the father?

  Over the last few days, he’d gone from praying the baby wasn’t his to wondering how he’d feel if she was. It was impossible not to adore her. He cautioned himself to wait a little longer for the DNA results even as the love, the fatherly feelings, he’d been holding at bay started to spill over. When he’d told Iris that he was ambivalent about having kids, he’d meant it. But he couldn’t possibly have known what this would feel like.

  A daughter. Would Iris want Lily to be her daughter, too?

  Iris adored her. He knew she did. He just wasn’t sure what that would mean to her. Did she feel this same overwhelming love and fierce protectiveness, too? Would it change anything for her? It had to, right? It wasn’t something he had any control over, and it was changing things for him.

  “The answer is that I’m not sure.”

  “I see.” Jonah remained poker-faced. Flynn was impressed.

  “But it’s not what you think. Can I assume what I’m about to tell you is confidential, too?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Flynn explained about the fertility study.

  “Wow,” Jonah said when he’d finished. “That’s so wild. Like soap-opera wild. And categorically wrong. If she were alive, I’d recommend a lawsuit. That’s theft. There have been lawsuits over similar incidents, women using sperm without permission from ex-boyfriends and husbands.”

  “I know. And the thing is, if I’m not Lily’s father I don’t think there’s any way to find out who is. According to a friend of mine who works at the lab, the samples and the records were all destroyed.”

  Nodding thoughtfully, Jonah picked up a spoon and lightly tapped it on the table, then said, “I contacted Richard and Cynthia Traver. I informed them about the circumstances surrounding Sonya’s will. Not what’s in it, just that she’d had one drafted. They said they’d spoken to you and asked you to take care of things until they arrived?”

  “Yes, they did.”

  “Good. I’m glad that it’s amicable among you all. When will you get the DNA results?”

  “Should be tomorrow morning. A friend of mine is fast-tracking the test.”

  “Okay, good. Knowing whether or not you’re the father will make a big difference here. Like I mentioned, an unsigned will can be submitted to the court for consideration.”

  “I don’t care about anything but custody. I mean, if Lily is mine, then of course I want her.”

  Jonah held his gaze for a long moment, then asked, “And if she’s not?”

  Blankly he stared at Jonah, absorbing the jolt as the implications of that simple yet extraordinarily profound question sank in.

  “I...”

  “You need to think about this. Either way, you have a huge decision to make.”

  Sonya wanted him to raise her child. Lily could be his daughter regardless of biology. But what about her grandparents? They might want her and challenge Flynn for custody. Should he respect their wishes? And what about Iris?

  He wanted Lily if she was his and, he admitted to himself, maybe even if she wasn’t. But how would Iris feel? What was he going to do?

  “I guess I’ll have to discuss that with the Travers.” And Iris. He needed to talk to Iris.

  But first, he needed those test results. Because Jonah was right, if he was Lily’s biological father, that would take the decision out of his hands.

  * * *

  “SO, DEBRA, IT says here that you’ve been working as an office manager for a shipping company in Anchorage for the last three years?” Iris looked up from the résumé Debra had submitted the week before as if she hadn’t already memorized it.

  Debra Zenn was twenty-three years old and had a two-year degree in office management from a
community college in Seattle. Her computer skills were adequate, references were good and in her spare time she enjoyed figure skating, volunteering at an after-school program for kids and scrapbooking. She’d scored well on the test. On paper, she was perfect.

  “That’s correct.” Debra tucked a lock of silky brown hair behind her ear and smiled at Iris—she was personable, attractive, with a pleasant voice and a nice presence, although Iris thought her skirt was a little short for an office setting, especially an interview. But, hey, maybe she liked short skirts.

  Iris wanted her to be the one. Really. She did. Wanting and the reality, she’d learned after six interviews, were two very different things. It reminded her of the baby books she’d been reading, and how when she’d quizzed Janie and Emily about actual parenting versus what she’d learned, they’d laughed and laughed and laughed.

  She wondered how Lily was doing.

  At Hazel’s insistence, Iris had left Lily with her and Margaret and went to work. Leaving the baby had been difficult but she’d scheduled the interview last week and she owed it to Tag to hire her replacement and get the person trained before she moved. Hannah and Cricket had been filling in for her at Copper Crossing the last few days.

  “And your current place of employment is Anchorage Water, Sky and Ground?” Iris tacked on an encouraging smile when the distracted Debra didn’t immediately respond. “Is that accurate?”

  Eye contact, however, was one of the woman’s biggest problems. Mainly because she kept “contacting” with Tag. Like she was doing now.

  “Debra?”

  “Umm, yes,” she answered, swinging her gaze back to Iris. “That’s correct, Anchorage Water, Sky and Ground is my current employer.”