In the Doctor's Arms Read online

  Betty closed the door behind her and Jonah got down to business. “Before we proceed, Cynthia and Richard, I want to make sure you feel like you’ve had plenty of time to consider this.”

  Flynn nodded his agreement. They’d spent many hours with their granddaughter over the last two days. They’d taken her for the entire afternoon the day before.

  Cynthia and Richard exchanged meaningful glances, then Richard said, “Before we give you our decision, we want to ask you a question, Flynn.”

  “Of course, anything.”

  “What will you do if we say we want custody? Will you submit the will to the court, anyway, or let us have her without a fight?”

  Flynn had been afraid it was going to come to this. Determination and certainty overrode his apprehension. He’d made his decision and he hated to do this, but what choice did he have?

  “Last week, that would have been an easy question to answer. But that was before I met Lily. I don’t want to fight with you. You’re her grandparents, and I want you to be a part of her life. Sonya would want that. But she also wanted me to be Lily’s parent. I want to be Lily’s parent. I can’t explain it, but I already feel like I am. I’m sorry, but I’d have to fight.”

  Cynthia let out a whimper that tugged at Flynn’s heartstrings. Tears rolled down her face and she pulled a tissue from her pocket. Richard nodded and swallowed heavily. He also seemed to be fighting tears.

  Flynn hated this, but he didn’t feel like he had any other choice. Lily belonged with him. With him and Iris.

  The couple held hands and exchanged shaky smiles. Cynthia dabbed at her eyes with the tissue and then looked at him. “That’s what we were hoping you’d say.”

  “Oh. I...”

  Richard explained, “We only want what’s best for our granddaughter. But we also want her raised by someone who truly wants her, someone who’ll fight for her. Raising a child is difficult, as you’ll soon discover. We need you to be all in.”

  “I am,” Flynn said, trying to process their decision, trying to absorb the facts. “Thank you, both.”

  Richard turned toward Jonah. “Submit the will. We won’t contest it. Sonya had issues. We can’t begin to know what was going through her mind, but we believe that in this case she knew exactly what she was doing. And we believe she did the right thing. We’re so grateful, Flynn, that you’ve agreed to take this on. It’s beyond selfless.”

  Cynthia sat forward. “The only thing we want, if we can even ask for it, is visitation.”

  Flynn looked at Jonah. “Yes, absolutely, the more grandparents she has, the better, as far as I’m concerned.”

  * * *

  HOPE, RELIEF AND love lightened the heaviness that had taken up residence inside of Flynn since Lily’s birth. After leaving Jonah’s, he texted Iris and told her he was on his way. He couldn’t wait to give her the news. Part of this, he now knew, had been fear. Fear that Lily would be taken from him, that he’d have to go to court, that Iris wouldn’t be on board. Her reaction when he told her about the will, her encouragement for him to pursue custody, filled him with a love so intense he could barely stand it.

  In a week they’d be married. The three of them would be a family. Irony of all ironies that two people who didn’t think they wanted children were coming together to parent someone else’s child. And not just anyone’s, but his ex-wife’s.

  He and Iris could do this. The logistics weren’t going to be easy, but they’d manage. Exiting the car, he jogged toward the James house and then up the steps of the front porch.

  Iris was out of the house before he could knock.

  Wrapping her in a tight hug, he explained, “They’re not going to fight me.” He let her go, took her by the hand and led her to the cushy chairs, where he urged her to sit next to him. “This probably means I won’t be able to come to Washington, DC, as much as we’d planned, at least not for a while. Although, the Travers want to be a part of Lily’s life so maybe they’ll want to take her for an occasional weekend. Hopefully, since she’s been such a good baby, we can turn her into a little traveler. I was thinking—”

  “Flynn, wait.” Twisting in her chair, Iris paused to capture his gaze with hers. Her voice was fraught, yet resolute, as she said, “I want you to know how thrilled I am for you and Lily. She’s the luckiest baby in the world to grow up with you, and you’ll be the best dad.”

  Flynn froze. He was pretty sure the entire world stopped. And when it started again, when his heart resumed pumping, it was like his warm blood had been replaced with ice water. He could read Iris’s expression.

  “You’re not going to do this with me, are you?” he said.

  “This isn’t an easy decision for me, but I...” Head shaking, she swallowed down a sob, and continued, “No. I’m so sorry, Flynn. I wish I could. But I can’t.”

  “What do you mean, you can’t? You mean, you won’t.”

  Silence stretched between them. Disappointment flooded through him and he tried desperately to rein in his anger. Why was he angry? That wasn’t fair.

  “I thought you were okay with this. When I told you about the will, you were okay with me...”

  “I am okay with this. I encouraged you to follow your heart because I could see where it had already gone. I didn’t—I don’t—think this was a decision that you should make with me in mind. It’s your decision.”

  “Iris, it’s yours, too. It’s what Sonya wanted. She wanted us to raise Lily together.”

  “I know. But she didn’t have the facts, not at the time, and I’m not sure she had any right to ask this of us—of me. I’m not like other people, Flynn. You know what I mean. I never have been. I’ve come a long way in tackling my childhood, but this one issue for me is incurable. Sonya didn’t know this about me, so in a way, it was partially our fault for not being honest with her. But that doesn’t matter now because I also believe this was meant to be. And I know you can do this. I want you to do this. I want this for Lily. You’re going to be a fantastic dad. You already are.”

  “But you love Lily, I know you do. I can see it. And you’ll be an amazing mo—”

  “I do,” she interrupted and nodded. “Love her.” Swallowing, she pressed a hand to her mouth and looked down for a moment. Facing him again, she appeared resolute. “Absolutely, I do. I love you both. That’s why I’m doing this. You need someone who can help you, who can be a good mom for Lily. I’m not... That person isn’t me.”

  “How can you say that? She needs us, she needs you. I need you.” Flynn wanted to ask her to stay. He wanted to beg. But he also knew it wasn’t fair. How could he ask Iris to raise someone else’s child when she didn’t want one of her own?

  She stood. “I’m so sorry. I’m going to make this easier on both of us and head to DC tomorrow. My mom said she’ll watch Lily as long as you need her to until you figure out what you’re going to do long-term. Maybe you could ask Shay to help out, too, since she’s cut back her hours at the inn. And, of course, Hazel, although I don’t know how long she’s going to stick around.”

  “Iris, I—I love you so much. I don’t want to lose you.”

  “I know, Flynn. I love you, too. And you didn’t lose me. You didn’t do anything wrong. You did everything right. In fact, I don’t think I’d love you as much as I do if you hadn’t made this decision. I hope you can forgive me.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  HAZEL STOOD IN the bedroom next to Iris’s open suitcase and pressed the heels of her hands against her forehead. “This is...unbelievable. So, all this time you thought Flynn was Lily’s dad and you didn’t say anything? Now you know he’s not Lily’s dad, but he is her legal parent, or at least Sonya wanted him to be. And you’re her new mom, or you will be when you marry Flynn?”

  “Yes, to most of that.” Iris rolled up another T-shirt and stuffed it into the suitcase. “Except—”

  “So i
n the blink of an eye, Lily goes from being an orphan to having the best parents ever. I mean, aside from the tragedy of Lily losing her mother and... Wait, what are you doing?” Hazel frowned. “Are you packing? That’s an awfully big suitcase for three days in Vegas.”

  “It’s not for Vegas. There isn’t going to be any Vegas. Flynn is going to be her dad, but I’m not going to be her...” She couldn’t say the word mom, it was like a knife to her heart every time she tried.

  Hazel sank down across from her on the carpet. “What do you mean?”

  “Hazel, I know you probably won’t understand this, but I’ve never wanted children.”

  “So? Me, either, particularly. But life happens. If someone gave me one like Lily I wouldn’t say no.”

  “I’m going to Washington, DC, tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow? But you don’t start work for another few weeks.” Hazel’s stare felt like a heat-seeking missile zeroing in on her scalding cheeks.

  “You don’t understand. I can’t do this. So that means I can’t marry Flynn. I’m leaving.”

  “Iris, that doesn’t make any sense! That’s not right.”

  “Hazel, please don’t make this more difficult for me than it already is. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I can’t. I’m not equipped for motherhood.”

  “All right, okay...” Head shaking, like she was searching for words, she held out both hands. “Listen, I’m going to give this to you straight because that’s what we do for each other. So here goes. You’ve been acing motherhood for the last few days. You’re a natural. Lily already feels like your daughter to me. She feels like my niece. Mom and Shay and I were joking last night about how we wish we didn’t have to give her up. I don’t understand.”

  “I know...” Sadness and regret filled her to the brim. She needed to keep it together. This was the right thing to do, no matter how awful it felt. “I don’t expect you to understand. I don’t expect anyone to. I’m just asking you to support me here. I have to go. I can’t stay any longer.” Iris stared into her sister’s eyes and willed her to understand. She didn’t think she could handle it if Hazel looked at her with even a trace of the disappointment she’d seen on Flynn’s face.

  Then her sister did the most wonderful thing ever. She crawled around the suitcase, wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tight. “Of course I support you, Trippa. Always and in all ways.” And then they cried.

  * * *

  IRIS SPENT HER first day in Washington, DC, staring at the TV in her motel room. If she stayed extremely still, focused on the screen and didn’t move at all, it didn’t hurt quite as much. At least, until that car commercial came on where the dad safely buckles the baby inside and then a series of scenes shows the little girl at stages of her life, each more tender and poignant than the last. In fact, why did nearly every commercial suddenly seem to feature a baby? And weren’t they in an inordinate amount of movies and television shows, or was that just her?

  Okay, so it still hurt. It really, really hurt. Like her heart and soul had been ripped out of her. She felt restless and helpless and useless.

  The second day she forced herself out of bed. Feeling the need to remind herself of how she loved this city, she ventured out to visit her favorite haunts. Huge mistake. She’d taken Flynn to all of them. An adorable family consisting of a mom, dad, baby and ponytailed toddler in a stroller were buying bagels in her favorite shop. Without an ounce of embarrassment, the father made goofy faces and chattered at an infant in a front pack just the way she knew Flynn would do. The baby giggled wildly. Iris barely managed to keep it together long enough to find a bench in the park across the street, where she broke down and cried while six pigeons stared at her like she’d lost her mind. She thought they might be right.

  The third day she changed tactics again and decided to shop for an apartment. The lease had expired on her place shortly after graduation, and, not knowing how long it would be before she got a job, she’d opted not to renew. Most of her belongings were in storage and she knew she’d feel better once she got settled. Apartment hunting would have been a great distraction until she found herself in the middle of a two-bedroom wondering if it had enough space for three.

  Time, she told herself—she just needed to figure out a way to make it pass. Work would be the best distraction. Too bad the office was closed. Sebastien had told her to let him know when she was scouting apartments. So, after viewing yet another lovely two-bedroom, this one in his neighborhood, she decided to drop by.

  A disheveled Sebastien opened the door wearing a rumpled T-shirt and basketball shorts. His normally perfectly mussed black hair was spiked up at odd angles and he’d gone at least a day without shaving. Iris regretted her bad timing, but before she could apologize, his face broke into a welcoming smile and he waved her inside.

  “Iris, hi! You’re here. I’m so happy to see you. Come in.”

  Somewhere behind him there was a noise. It sounded like a baby crying. Great, now she was hearing phantom babies to remind her of how much she missed Lily. Like she needed reminding. The ache in her heart started all over again. Maybe she was coming down with something.

  “Sorry if I’m a little frazzled. Our adoption came through. Come in and meet Madison.”

  “Your...what, who?”

  “Oh, that’s right, you don’t know. I didn’t say anything before because Drew and I have been close a couple of times. We’ve had foster children and been on the cusp of adopting and it’s always fallen through.”

  “This is the really important thing you had to be back for, isn’t it?”

  “It is.” He added a happy nod. “Stupid probably, but I didn’t want to say what was happening and jinx it.”

  “I understand. My sister and her husband have had a few of those experiences.”

  “It’s brutal. But the papers are signed and we’re parents now.” The sparkle, the joy in his eyes was unmistakable. It reminded her of Flynn when he’d given her the news that Lily was theirs. Not theirs, she reminded herself. His. Except...

  “Congratulations! How exciting.” Happily, she recognized how much she meant those words. It felt good to acknowledge an emotion that wasn’t sadness or longing.

  Drew appeared in the doorway with a bundle of baby in his arms.

  “Hey, Drew. Congratulations, Daddy.”

  “Hello, Iris. Thank you! Nice to see you again. Do you want to meet Madison?”

  Ouch, she thought. Too soon to hold a baby?

  “Sure,” she said, her feet moving forward.

  Drew passed her the baby. Her heart squeezed with warmth and affection.

  “Hello, Miss Madison,” Iris cooed. “I am so happy to meet you, little one.” She swayed and gently bounced the way Lily liked.

  The baby quieted. Madison smiled at Drew.

  “Wow.” He returned the baby’s grin. “Baby whisperer.”

  “Not exactly. It just so happens that I’ve had a little practice recently. It’s hard, isn’t it? To know what to do?”

  Sebastien came closer to gaze at his daughter. “It is, but we’re so grateful for this blessing that we can’t bring ourselves to complain. I mean, to finally have the opportunity to be parents, it’s...” Choked up, he nodded for a few seconds. “We were beginning to believe it wouldn’t happen for us. Parenthood isn’t something everyone gets in this life. The fact that someone trusts us enough to care for this little life is... It’s a gift. No matter how hard it might be at times, we will never take it for granted.”

  Iris felt something slip loose inside of her. “That sounds...perfect.”

  Then she looked carefully at the two men. “How long has it been since you guys slept?”

  “Oh, um... We’ve been trying to take shifts, but it’s not easy. She cries, and you just want to make it better, you know?” Sebastien half grinned.

  She did know. Iris nodd
ed as the darkness evaporated inside her once and for all and a lightness rushed in to fill the space. There was also now an urgency that made her want to run, but she knew she needed to stop and think. And she wanted to do something else while she did so.

  “I do understand. But why don’t you let me take a shift? You two go catch a nap.”

  The glances they exchanged were eager yet fraught with uncertainty.

  Iris laughed and pointed toward the back of the apartment. “Hey, Dads, go get some shut-eye. I got this. I promise I know what I’m doing.”

  * * *

  BETWEEN RESPONSIBILITIES AT the hospital and the clinic, Flynn spent nearly every second with Lily. He didn’t have the energy to try to not miss Iris. He’d tackle that later.

  Janie let Flynn borrow her crib and a few pieces of furniture and he set up Lily in the second bedroom of his apartment.

  He found Doc there, hovered over Lily on her changing table, stethoscope to her chest.

  “I don’t like this.” Doc looked at him as he approached. “Take a listen.”

  Flynn accepted the stethoscope, held the chest piece in place and listened while concern tightened in his own.

  “You hear it, too, don’t you?”

  Flynn nodded. “We’re taking her to Anchorage.”

  * * *

  IRIS LEFT SEBASTIEN and Drew’s and realized she was hungry for the first time in two days. She picked up a pizza and went to her hotel room. She let herself in and immediately belted out a loud scream. There were people. Relief rushed in when she realized they were her people. Ones she was incredibly happy to see. Tag sat on the sofa. Hazel reclined on the bed.

  “Holy cow! You guys scared me. What are you doing here? How did you get in?”

  Tag said, “We’re here to talk to you.”

  Iris set the pizza on the coffee table.

  Chuckling, Hazel got up and moved to sit on the sofa next to Tag. “I pretended to be you, told the front-desk guy I forgot my key card.”